The Journey Begins

Thanks for joining me!

Good company in a journey makes the way seem shorter. — Izaak Walton

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AGaySachet

I find that that I can sum up my life with the 5 following: #1 Life is a banquet and most men are starving and because I love to eat you’ll most certainly find me at the buffet. #2 I’m not a size queen. However, it takes a hell of a lot longer to get across the ocean in a row boat than it does an oceanliner. And let’s face it sometimes you just got to get there quick. So, you can start a new journey. Wouldn’t want to miss out on early bird specials. #3 I think that anyone you plan to have a relationship with on any level should come with statistics similar to baseball and a surgeon generals warning that only effects pregnant people. #4 I’m a bit crazy. Clinically and otherwise I hope that by sharing a thing or two about myself and things that I have been through and survived that somehow I can find others who can relate and laugh with. I truly feel everyone is to some degree a little crazy. Because we have to be in order to survive. #5 I generally avoid temptation unless I simply cannot resist it. #6 I find that when I’m in “Hell.” My own disabling and destructive personal “HELL.” It is more than likely due to any one of the following, any combination of those, or more frequently than I would like they occur all at once. Biggie sized with a Diet to drink. These three are my monsters, my demons, my angels, my educational struggles. My mind (the biggest challenge I face every single moment of every single day, my physical body, and my multitude of fluctuating bad life choices. That the best way to handle them is one at a time, only cross bridges when you are certain that you have reached one, never bite more than you can chew (remember that while you and your life might be messy and uncertain. You will always be a lady and if not one then die your state, at least act like one. Chewing with a full mouth is sloppy, and is NOT appreciated by anyone)(well that I know of). Finally, when the temperatures become overwhelming and frightening find that one or more that gets you (everyone has one person)! If you don’t think so, I want to thank you for letting be that one. Jump in that bohemuth of an ORV that you have to drive to get through “Hell’s” messes, roll down the windows, crank the tones, and may all that is holy help you to never give up, give in, or slow down by distractions. The universe needs people like you and I. Since the question might have already come up within you to ask or inform me of what seems to be a grammatical error or I that I am not good at counting. I feel like it is important that I just solve your dilemma right away. You are correct I am terrible with numbers and I hate math. I think it’s because I was born pretty so the need isn’t applicable (this is what I have self diagnosed to be the issue. So, I don’t feel so terrible and judging towards from the hatred, pain, and extremely high amount of anxiety that numbers and mathematics give me. Also, it never fails that sure enough as I state that my extreme hatred for numbers that I have offended at least one person). Having a diagnosis gives me the opportunity to maintain the upper hand or at least I think it does? It feels like I am? At least there’s a reason to laugh and make it a little bit more interesting than just not liking math and numbers. There is an explanation for the line #6. It serves me as a backup when I’m struggling I need all the help I can get so having a 6 is a way for me to feel safe if I should lose the ability to hold onto or recall in my time of need. Come to think about it. I really should have 10! That way if all 5 go missing I will have replacements for all of them. Now, if I have 10 for 5 then of course I would need 15 for 10 to maintain my back up. Oh damn! This was a much better plan in my head. Now that I’ve laid it out and there’s so many more numbers I’m not happy about it. Though I have realized that it’s quite possible that I may have already known it to be the case and proved that my therapist is right. We really do develop our tools subconsciously or not to fill in when others cannot and for any reason I feel like I have no ability to create more than it is time to be honest and humble Ask for help, find someone who you can relate to or even someone you can’t and you will find ways to survive.

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